• • Caké and L'Talia • •

• A light amongst the shadows •

by Neishai

Nidus Ryslen

Caké trundled down the halls between Gero and L'Talia, each with a hand in hers. She wore a thick winter coat with matching gloves and scarf that Gero had found her from Ryslen's stores. She bit her lip, remembering something Mommy had said:

"G'taeo is our master now, he bought us. You have to call him that because it's his honorific, which is a kind of name some dragon-riders have. G'taeo; not Gero, not anything else. And especially not 'friend.'"

But everyone else called him Gero. It was his nickname, like Nata's was L'Talia's nickname, because she couldn't say it right. Nata said it was okay, and that she liked it. Gero said she could call him that too, even though Mommy said not to. She was confused.

As always, when he looked down at her as he walked, G'taeo wore a wide smile on his face. It was a real smile, not a fake one, like their old master had always worn -- whenever he actually wore one. But then Gero-- no, G'taeo's face lost its smile, and got that frowny look that her mom sometimes got when she was worried. "What's wrong, Caké?"

She worked at her lip a little more and grimaced when L'Talia stopped and looked at her too. "What is it, Kay-kay?" She folded her long legs in three like only she could do, and squatted down next to her. Ge--G'taeo bent down too.

Embarrassed, she looked down at her feet and swiveled at the hip, back and forth. She peeked out from beneath long brownish eyelashes, wishing she could hide. Why were they staring at her? She was unused to the constant attention. They waited patiently until she answered, incredibly uncomfortable, all squirmy inside, but she kind of liked it. She liked Gero, um G'taeo, and Nata very much, even though neither Mommy nor Nata said they liked him. "Um. Well, M…Mama said to call you G'taeo…and…but your name is Gero…and…" Grunting softly in frustration, she trailed off.

He was smiling again. He always delighted in the simplicity of this little girl, of any little child really, but he had never really had a good reason to spend time with one before Caké. "Don't worry, Caké. Your mom just wants you to treat people with respect, and that's a good thing." He nodded encouragingly. "But you can call me what you feel like calling me. If you like Gero better, call me that, but if you like G'taeo better, use that name. They are both my name, just like Caké is your name, but also Kay-kay sometimes. All right?"

She nodded.

"Do you feel better now?"

Again she nodded.

Gero chuckled. "Then why don't you give me a smile?"

Caké smiled a little, but he nodded encouragement, and before she knew it she was giggling.

"There, that's better," he said, and the trio stood up straight and continued on their way down the hall.

L'Talia shook her head as they went, a cockeyed grin on her lips. This man was the strangest master she had ever had, and refused to think of him as anything else, even though he was adamant to the contrary. She knew the ploy, she'd heard of it before: he'd lower their guard, pretending to be nice, lull them to a false sense of security, then beat them in the shadows. Oh yes, she had heard all about such things. She glared at him out of the corner of her eye, tightening her grip on Caké's hand. If only they had been able to save her from this fate, but somehow, despite herself, L'Talia felt safer with G'taeo than she had with any other man.

They had just eaten. The food in Caké's belly made it bulge a little, and she giggled as her fruit juice from breakfast sloshed around as she skipped. She was wearing her new coat outfit for a very good reason. They had met Gero in the Fall, during the Fiery Festival. It had still been warm then, but now it was chilly, usually windy, and sometimes Caké could see her own breath.

As she ran around the Bowl, Gero's brown firelizard appeared. She liked him a lot too; he always wanted to play with Caké, even if he couldn't always play her games the right way. He was always making laughing noises with her and would dance on her head and shoulders when she sat down. He liked to tickle people with the big fins on his tail because it made them laugh, even if they weren't happy.

She laughed and called, "Catch me if you can, Vanhi! No dis-appearing!" He tore off after her, chittering wildly.

Gero lounged back where he sat, on a large volcanic rock, propped up by his arms. He watched the pair chasing one another, playing some game of tag. As L'Talia watched him, again out of the corner of her eye, he seemed genuinely interested in the girl's antics. Was he actually enjoying himself, or was he hatching some sort of plan? The way he sat like that, completely unaware of himself, so calm and confident, she hated men like that. They thought they could do whatever they wanted. She couldn't believe he would rather baby-sit a little girl instead of carousing around with all the girls of Ryslen. That was why she was sure he had some kind of plan. She just didn't know what it was yet.

She was brought out of her sullen thoughts as the man next to her suddenly let out a hearty laugh. She jumped, and swiveling her tall ears frantically, realized she hadn't been watching Caké at all, just…staring off into space. She finally found the girl not far off, hopping around like a large frog in the dirt. Furious with herself, she sat erect, orangey eyes flaring like small embers.

Meanwhile, G'taeo was chuckling, shaking his head as he watched Caké and Vanhi. To her knowledge, he hadn't even looked at L'Talia. She wasn't sure how she felt about that, glad or downright jealous, until he said, "Don't worry about her, Tali. I'm keeping an eye on her. It's important that you have a little time to yourself. Whatever you were thinking about just now seemed important, you had such a pensive look on your face. If you'd like a quieter place to think, feel free to go. You can go back home if you want, but you have free reign of Ryslen you know."

She sat there for a while, hands clasped in her lap, staring at her knees. She normally had no trouble hiding her feelings from people, but G'taeo seemed to read her like a book. Either that, or like now, she was always so flustered that she forgot how to act. "No, I'm fine," she said with conviction, though she couldn't even convince herself. "Unless…unless you're dismissing me."

He shrugged. "No, of course not. Go or stay at your leisure."

She clamped her jaw. Finally: "And what about you? Wouldn't you rather be doing something else, besides watching Caké?"

"It's not a problem, L'Talia. She's fun to watch, I like Caké a lot. Plus it's nice out; we're all bundled up, the sun's trying to break free of the clouds… what else could I want to do?"

Just then, Caké returned with Vanhi, rosy-cheeked and panting. Her face glowed from her exertions and with joy. L'Talia found it refreshing. But then Caké sat down at G'taeo's feet and began to spread her little toys out in front of him. She watched as the girl and this man's flying lizardy-thing became absorbed in their own little game. The little creature was enamored with the girl, as, apparently, he was. L'Talia bristled, curling her lip. What interest should he have with her adopted niece anyway?

"I know exactly what you shouldn't do. You shouldn't sit around doing nothing all day. You are a dragon-rider, or whatever you people call yourself here. Stop fraternizing with the servants." Her tone and expression both were very harsh, more so than even she had intended, but she glared up at G'taeo anyway. By then he had risen to his feet in shock, and suddenly she was afraid that he would surely beat her now, perhaps even here out in the bowl. She almost wished for that; it would be the one shred of normalcy about her life right now.

His liquid-brown eyes hardened for a moment, but in the end all he felt was a deep welling pain, as if he had been physically struck and the resulting wound bled freely. Both he and Caké stared at L'Talia in disbelief. Finally he nodded in defeat. "You're right. I don't know how many times I have to tell you I'm not your 'master,' but you're right. I have…better…things to do."

And then he left, without so much as a good-by, a smile, or a wave to Caké. And even though he wasn't called, the firelizard left her and followed his master.

Caké wept bitterly. First Mommy, now Gero and Vanhi. Now she was all alone with no one but Nata. She honestly felt as if he would never come see them again, nevermind that they lived with him, in his rooms. One can live in the same space as another, without ever living with them, without ever feeling together but always alone. She knew this feeling all too well. Suddenly she felt arms embrace her, and Nata was kissing her damp cheeks, murmuring in her ear.

"It'll be okay, Kay-kay, I promise." L'Talia felt deep worry. She did not know why she had said what she said. Now their living situation was in jeopardy. Cyna would be furious if she returned home only to find that she had none. Some protector of the child she was; some servant she was, defying her master like that so openly. The only way to get at one's master is to control them in subtle ways, behind closed doors. And she knew just how to do that…

She sighed. "I should not have said that. Don't worry, I'll fix it." She was not sorry for hurting his feelings; that was irrelevant, beyond the fact that an unhappy master will make a servant's life a living torture. Within her embrace, she felt Caké nod and wipe her eyes. "All right, let's get your things put away and we can come inside. I'll bet you're cold. Why don't we go to the dining cavern for some hot drinks?"

Caké nodded and smiled weakly, sniffling. "Okay." She tried to smile, but she felt empty inside. With numbed little hands and a runny nose, she gathered her trinkets and figurines and put them into her satchel, a present her mother had given her a long time ago. Thinking about Mommy made her cry once more, only this time, they were silent tears that fell down her face almost burning her skin with their heat.

• • •

Over the next week or so, Gero kept himself busy. He did whatever he could to stay away from his own rooms, though it would mean Xerbith's care took place outside, by the lake for example. Once or twice, coincidence brought the yellow-draconar and Caké together.

"Can I help you, Gero? I won't get in the way, I promise!" Caké looked up at the curly-haired man hopefully. If she was nice enough, maybe he would say 'yes.' Please, please let him say yes!

Gero was surprised; he hadn't heard her coming, lost in his own thoughts. He had been that way lately, something Gato would most likely have had a fit over. He jumped and turned, happy that she called him that, more so that she had come to see him. He looked out across the way and spied L'Talia, who was looking their way. "I don't think you should." It hurt so much to see her face fall like that, but he didn't know what to do. "I can call Vanhi, he's around here somewhere. You could play with him, if you'd like."

It wasn't the same, but it was something, something far better than the way she had been feeling lately, so she nodded. "Please!" As Gero sent for his flitter and they waited for Vanhi's arrival, she thought about the bitter loneliness she had felt lately. It was worse now that she had had a taste of a life with a man around. It was strange to think that way, for she was only just a little child, especially with the two women in her life always putting them down. But Gero was special. Even though he and L'Talia didn't get along, he always brightened a room. He was always smiling. She missed that desperately. She missed that he treated her differently than even her mother and L'Talia did.

When Vanhi finally appeared, his breath smelling of fish, Caké was reluctant to go. Gero was reluctant to let her, and he watched with a sigh as she skipped off to play with his dark-brown flit.

That girl is so lonely, Xerbith remarked with a rumbling sigh. Reminds me of someone I know.

"Maybe she just misses her mother. Cyna will be back soon, I think. She just needed to get away for a while."

Most certainly, but she is hungry for friends. Everyone seems to be abandoning her.

Gero nodded. "I know. It's strange, I just want to spend so much time with her, but with L'Talia around I always feel awkward. It's easier just to steer clear."

Oh, that's a load of rubbish and you know it. Every time you see that girl your heart aches. It practically bleeds.

There was something else that went unsaid, and it regarded L'Talia. There was something about her that he could not identify, that unsettled him. He was not sure of its nature, other than that it was not sinister at its core. Her lack of morals and compassion seemed to stem directly from her harsh lifestyle. He did not know how to reach her, and while some might say it was up to her to right her life now, he was not sure. After all, she regarded herself as his property; she was, in a very literal sense, his. He felt about the opposite about her, that no one could keep such a woman; but she also set herself to some very specific rules. She was a walking paradox, and their cultures were a world apart.

Despite that, she was at her core, "human" in the sense that she had feelings, emotions, and even expectations that most cultures seemed to have. Her body language too was very similar to a human's, which was why he was always thrown off by her words and her actions. She seemed to feel one way, then act in a way contrary to her mood.

And there was one feeling that he simply could not shake. On the day of the Frenzy, of the few things that he could remember about it, there was one thing that always stuck out in his mind. He had asked Xerbith, very tentatively, if he had recalled any…connection… that he had felt between Gero and L'Talia. His response had been downcast and of no help. Sorry, I was preoccupied at the time. I really wish I could help. So…why did he keep getting this creeping sensation, a feeling about her…? No. Nevermind.

He sighed and returned to his work, trying to force his thoughts in another direction. He refused to be hurt yet again.

Later on, he and Xerbith were thinking along the same lines. "Why don't we get Caké a new friend, someone of her very own to care for, someone that will love her like Vanhi does me? It would be nothing like having a dragon, but it's a start," he smiled.

Yes. We really should do that.

So when he had an afternoon off, several days later, the weather happened to be cooperating. There was a warmish wind blowing about Ryslen, probably the last of the year. The sky was grey, almost khaki in color, and on the coast the waves crashed with vigor. A storm was approaching but they had time to look.

"I'm going out," he said back at home.

"Will you be gone long?" asked L'Talia, looking up from sweeping the room. She had been near the ledge sweeping dust over the edge when Xerbith landed. She was only just getting used to sharing such a small but open area with such a large beast. And she often busied herself this way, sweeping or mending or what-have-you about their living space, so such an occurrence was commonplace.

"Yes, all afternoon," he said shortly.

Mentally, L'Talia cringed. Ever since their confrontation the other day, he had been rather cold and distant. It had taken a few days, but she had come to regret her words. With any other man it would have been easy, but she knew of no simple way to apologize to G'taeo. Plead forgiveness, and he would have backed away uncomfortably; apology not accepted. The very atmosphere of the rooms had taken on a chilly air, as if the warmth had fled with him, and it had nothing to do with the turn of the season. It seemed brittle like a dead leaf, and some sort of peace that had once been there was now gone. Caké had become more sullen, quiet even for one so good at entertaining herself. And perhaps even most surprisingly of all, L'Talia missed Gero the way he had been before.

Caké wandered out rubbing her eyes. Despite herself, she had fallen asleep on Gero's bed and L'Talia had decided against moving her. Gero on the other hand, was sorry to see her. It would have been so much easier to do this without her around. Her muzzy eyes and flaccid face perked up instantly when she saw G'taeo. "Gero! Can I come too?"

He shook his head. "No, we'll be gone the rest of the day."

Her disappointment was almost too much to bear. For all of them.

Let us go quickly. This is awful.

I agree, Xerbith.

"Would you like me to keep some food ready for your return?"

"No. And don't wait up for me," he added, knowing that she would 'disobey.'

When they had arrived at the beach (it was one in the tropics where flitters love to lay their eggs) Gero set Vanhi to looking for flitter nests while he unstrapped Xerbith. The Yellow would have been happy to look too, but he set about catching fish for dinner instead.

Gero wandered along near the shore with his pant-legs rolled up to his knees. His slippers were surprisingly good for climbing wet rocks the way they clung to his feet when wet. Following in general his flitter Vanhi, they were able to cover a wider swath of land more quickly together than they would have apart. The idea paid off, as all at once the dark Brown squealed with delight at his discovery.

There, between some large rocks, nestled snugly in the sand, was a small clutch of flitter eggs. The mother was nowhere in sight. Grinning, Gero plucked Vanhi from the air and hugged him. "Great job! Look what we can accomplish together." Vanhi squeaked and Gero set him on one of the stones doubling as "cradles."

Vanhi was so proud of himself, Gero suggested he go out for a swim. "Go tell Xerbith what you did. I'm sure he will be glad to hear it from you." Vanhi trilled. "Maybe grab yourself a little snack out of the shallows too, hmm?" With a little 'whoop!' the Brown took flight and was down the beach in no time.

Meanwhile, Gero set about moving a little sand around a couple of the eggs. It wouldn't do to have his scent all over everything, so he was very careful about it. Soon, he held a small egg just about Caké's size. Probably a Green or a Blue, he thought, wondering if he should look for a larger one. He decided against it. She needed something she could carry without difficulty. Carefully, he put the egg in an inner jacket pocket so that he could carry it as he climbed back down. The dusky, caramel-colored egg was hot to the touch, but another caught his eye. It had creamy swirls in the darker caramel that were subtle yet quite beautiful. He was oddly drawn to it, though in a way different than how he had been drawn to Vanhi's egg. Before he could think better of it, he had this second egg in his other jacket pocket and was climbing down to the beach again.

He stood there, looking back at the outcropping. "Why did I do that?" he asked himself aloud, baffled by his own actions. Carefully, he took the egg back out and studied it. There was definitely something special about this egg, of that he was certain. And before he had returned home later that night, he knew exactly whom he was giving it to.

• • •

Caké was already in bed, though it was hard to tell if she was asleep or not. L'Talia lay in bed herself, with the light down low. She was not in her own bed, but G'taeo's, warming it. That had been one of her functions in the past, to warm a man's bed, though that had meant a little more there. That was one thing about him, Gero never forced her to do anything; it was the sense of obligation she felt that made her do these things.

And besides, there were some things she needed to talk with him about. Maybe if she loosened things up a little, he would be more respon-- er, receptive.

She heard a series of noises that mercifully broke her train of thought. Whispers? Suddenly, she heard Caké squeal, and instantly she was out of bed, racing as fast as she could. She came to a skidding halt when she found that Gero was crouched next to her bed talking with her.

"Nata, Nata! Look what Gero brought me! Oh, thank you Gero, thank you, thank you!" The girl could hardly contain herself as she held something up over her head. She had to hold it in both hands, but it was obvious that the thing was an egg.

Gero chuckled. "Careful, now. You don't want to hurt your new friend."

"Ohh…" Instantly, Caké had stopped bouncing in bed, bending over the egg and cradling it in her hands with much care. Her expression was very intense, suddenly focused solely on the task of keeping the egg safe.

"What is going on? What is this?" L'Talia stood there in a slinky yet tasteful nightgown, hands on her hips. She was more incredulous than anything else.

"Well…" Gero wore a sheepish grin. "I thought Caké needed a friend. Someone who can be with her to play with, to watch over her all the time. Er, when we can't be. And it'll teach her to be responsible," he said, eyeing the girl severely. "You can't slacken your vigilance for even a moment, Caké. You can sleep and everything, but never neglect your egg. Once he or she hatches, it will care for itself, but until then…" He trailed off, meaningfully.

Caké nodded solemnly. "I will do my very best!"

Gero nodded. "And that's all you can do. Now get some sleep. I'll take your egg and put it by the hearth, in the bucket like I explained." When the girl nodded in understanding, G'taeo smiled and turned back to L'Talia, who turned the light back down.

They stood now by the fireplace; his rooms were far nicer than the ones he had had before. There were multiple spaces for sleeping, and of course this small fireplace, which also doubled to heat a small bath. Here already sat a bucket full of hot sand; he dug a hole in the contents for the egg in his hand while L'Talia stood back from him. "L'Natali'Lya," he said softly in a tone that made her heart skip a beat, and she was suddenly at his side.

"I brought you one too," he said, pulling out an egg that was a little different from the first. It was a little larger, and had beautiful patterns on it that reminded her of sand dunes back home. He held it for a moment, feeling how special it must be. Its occupant was a firelizard with a mission, though he was not sure what it might be. He regarded the egg for a moment, then handed it over to her.

L'Talia took it, heart in her throat, and stroked its patterning with her thick fingers. Her mind raced, but her thoughts went nowhere. A…this was a…gift? The very idea was unbelievable. But when she finally looked up into his dark eyes, she knew he wanted nothing more than for her to be happy.

But it went against everything she had known and understood about men. She did not hate them, she simply did not trust them. They were an obstacle, and a fact of life…not a benefactor, not a friend. Not a…

"No," she muttered in a voice that came from deep in her throat. "I won't take this. No." I will not be controlled by any man, not even you, not even with a 'gift,' which must hold some unforeseen condition.

Gero found the egg being pushed back into his hands and he was completely perplexed. He had been so close. He had seen a flicker in her eye for just a moment, it was as if she had forgotten her mistrust in the world and was happy. But the moment had passed, like a candle's flame in a breath of wind. It was gone, along with his chance to reach her. He closed his eyes and sighed softly. "Fine. Just…just leave."

L'Talia rocked backward onto her feet, stood up. It was the first time he had ever given her an order; the only time he had ever dismissed her. She was taken aback, jaw slack as he turned his back to her and started to put the egg away. Silently, he thought, I'm sorry little egg, I don't know what it was you were supposed to do, but--

She began to comply but stopped. It wasn't just that he was the gentlest, kindest, least demanding master she had ever served. She found that she wanted to please him, and nothing would have pleased him more than to have her accept that gift. If anyone would be my master, she realized, not like before but in mind and body and spirit, it would have to be this man! And…that egg, she felt drawn to it inexplicably.

"Wait, please," she said softly but urgently. When Gero stopped and looked over his shoulder, she came forward and knelt beside him. "Please," she repeated, holding out her hands. He gladly gave it to her, and she sat there just looking at it, caressing it like a kitten. "I'm sorry…please…"

He saw that there were tears in her eyes and he said, "Take it, it's yours."

She nodded, whispering, "Thank you."

With a smile he rolled to the balls of his feet and stood up, then bent down and kissed her the top of her head. "Bury the egg when you're done with it. I'll teach you and Caké how to care for a flitter tomorrow."

When he left her, he did not see the tears flowing freely down her face.

Ryslen's Flurry 2003